Posted: May 01st 2015

A lot of parents worry about pushing their kids…

And never is this tested more than when the kid says ‘I don’t want to go anymore’.

Now, if the kid would rather do something else with his life, or just fancies a break…

Why push them to do something they want to do…?

It could be any number of reasons.

But very often there is a ‘PROBLEM’ behind their decision to want to ‘give up’.

A PROBLEM that they do not know how to solve.

(This could apply to any activity, not just Football.)

Now here’s a question for you…

Are we serving them by letting them ‘quit’, when we know that if they could just ‘solve THAT problem’ they would be back to LOVING it again…?

Maybe even MORE than ever…?

I propose we are not.

One of our parents agrees…

His son – we’ll call him Jonny -  told him that he no longer wanted to come training.

His reason…?

I’ve been challenging him to get out of his ‘comfort zone’ as the Dad puts it.

Jonny has many great attributes.

Always well-behaved.

Never any trouble.

He has lots going for him as a player.

But he has two main problems:

1. He won’t talk

Actually, that’s not true…he talks his Friends’ and family’s heads off… But with new or less familiar people…Or with ‘authority figures’ like Coaches, he goes quiet.

2. He won’t get ‘stuck in’

When the going gets tough.

He won’t tackle. Runs when he feels like it. Doesn’t when he doesn’t.

Now…

If we think about this logically, these things aren’t the kid’s problem at all.

If he doesn’t want to do something, he doesn’t have to – it’s HIS life after all.

TRUE, TRUE.

But when you know the kid, you will understand that his number 1 goal in life is to be a Professional Footballer.

AAAH…. NOW it’s HIS problem….

Because if he’s gonna progress to a higher Level of Football…

He’s gonna need to work on the stuff, he’s not-so-good at (YET).

He’s gonna NEED to develop a GROWTH- MINDSET.

In fact, if he’s gonna increase his chances of being happy and fulfilled in ANY walk of life, he will need a GROWTH MINDSET.

(Did you buy the book ‘Mindset’ yet? If not, get it here - MINDSET - I don’t get any royalties…honest – even though I should)

ANYWAY…

How Jonny’s Dad deal with the situation when Jonny told him he wanted to quit?

(This is the stuff of genius)

He said: “That’s fine. If you want to quit. You need to tell Frankie yourself “

Do you see how astute this is?

He gave his boy choices, but either way he has to GROW by learning to SPEAK UP for himself.

Of course, if he GENUINELY wants to do something else with his life, then let him go and do it. Life is SHORT.

What did Jonny do?

He has decided to stay of course.

Partly, because he LOVES his Football.

Partly, because he hasn't learned to speak up for himself YET - but he WILL.

Have a cracking day

Frankie

PS - Been attempting to get all our info out for our special week of training over Whitsun ½ Term with former Director of Youth Malcolm Cook

(It’s out to some, everyone else will get theirs ASAP)