Posted: February 05th 2016

We've all done it.

I know I have.

Loads of times.

Instead of being happy for people's 'success'…

We 'bitch and moan' about them.

Pick holes in them, the way they go about it or
the 'fact' that they don't deserve it.

It's definitely a British thing, but I'm sure we don't
have a world-exclusive on it.

I'll kick things off shall I? Confess a sin or two of
my own to get my point across…

I played in the same Swansea Schoolboys' side as
Swans saviour James Thomas (great boy James)

We won the Welsh Schools Cup two years running.

Had a good run in the English Trophy as well.

Beating teams containing England Internationals
and all sorts.

There was a player in that team who was what
many would call 'selfish'.

He had all the clubs after him.

I used to get onto him about not passing to me.

Called him everything. To his face as well.

But that's NOT the point.

It didn't matter whether I said it to his face or not.

The point was that I allowed MY experience of
playing the game to be tainted by focusing on
HIM too much.

My moaning created negative energy in me.
Put me off MY game.

Now, when I look back I can still see that I was

But so what?

It didn't do ME any favours…

So what could I have done instead?

Two things:

1. Control the controllables.

Simple but still not EASY.

With practice it can be done though…

I could have focused more on what I was
doing. I could't control him, but I could
control myself.

2. This is the one I would have struggled
with at the time….

Appreciate him.

Be happy for him and his success.

Look for the 'good' qualities he has.

See what I admire in him.

Looking back now it's easy. he was
passionate about the game, like I was.

He had wonderful skills and he wanted
to express himself. Which I can identify
with, if I put my own 'stuff' aside for a

There's something about appreciating
people that builds positive energy in us.

It's difficult to explain...
But appreciating others is one of the most
'selfish' things you can ever do (in a good
But what's stops us is the need to be 'right'.
I decided a while ago now…

I'd rather be happy than right.

I'd rather be successful than right.

Because I've noticed that being 'right'
doesn't always feel good.

Being happy DOES feel good. Every time.
So look for the good in everyone.
You will see the stuff you don't like, but
quickly move past it. Note it. Learn from it
if you like.
But don't dwell on it.
If you can't find a way to appreciate the people in
your life...whether they are teammates, work colleagues
whatever...Get yourself out of there.
Because YOUR happiness and success depends
on it.

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